There are 30 lines on the spreadsheet. Instigated by a destination wedding, planning started 2 years ago. Though the wedding was called off, the dream of our trip remained. There’s some irony in the called off wedding trip transforming into a celebration of 30 years of our marriage.
30-years ago 30 years seemed like a life time away. After all that was 6 years more than I had even been alive. On one hand, the words of Kate Wolf resonate: “Where the years went I can’t say, I just turned around and they’re gone away.” On the other hand, we have so much to show for the last 30 years that I look around and see exactly where they went.
We have built a pretty amazing life together. Ups and downs for sure, the normal stresses and challenges that are life and building a family, and then the punctuation of it all with the recent heart attack escapade. But wow, how lucky and blessed we have been! We don’t own a jet or a small island, but I wouldn’t trade any part of the last 30 years for those things.
If I were wanting to be completely coach-y here I would talk about the purposeful design of a life together. I would say we had a great discipline of putting together plans and milestones and that we set out to mindfully design the life we wanted to live, fully aligned with our shared values. But that would be an alternate reality. Truth be told, we met, fell in love, married 11 months later and one step at a time created an amazing life we are both proud of. Our incredible kids are on the top of the list, followed by our home which most of the time is full of loving family and friends and a variety of artists from all over the country and the world that call our place home for anywhere from a day to several years. Good jobs, nice cars, travels, art, music, dance, movies, binge watching, games, a glass of wine and a piece of dark chocolate; often it’s the little things that are the best. Always it’s family and home that matter the most.
I have been incessantly listening to a song by Wild Rivers, called “Do Right.” The artists are significantly younger than I am, but through this song they reveal insight and wisdom of the years that is resonant with a 30 year marriage….
I don’t want to go
I don’t want to play dead yet
I’ve had moments
Faked a smile the moment I forget it
Walked a tight rope
Though we’re standing three feet off the ground
You should keep close
‘Cause we might just make it through the night
Putting up a fight
We could do right
30 days to driving around Spain and France together; we’re older and wiser for sure, so now maybe we can design the next 30!
What do you want to design for your life?
FYI - Wild Rivers performing with Paper Kites at La Fonda in Los Angeles, November 5.
photo by Lynne Harris Bernstein © 2016